I was stressed at work this week. I’m not usually stressed at work anymore. I am sure part of the stress was making sure everything was done for my 4 day weekend. As I type, I realize, I forgot time cards… haha. I knew that was going to happen.
I had dinner with my ex, and we watched star wars. I tried to talk about Dating, something I asked him to disclose when he started and vice versa. But I chickened out of it. It will happen in good time, I am sure.
Friday I went and paid a speeding ticket, and dealt with a warning, I still hadn’t changed my address. So I learned where the DMV and the RCMP offices are in my new town. I started to tidy my house a bit, and folded my laundry, but ran out of time. My amazing parents came and picked me up, we went to visit their “coin guy” (they collect coins and people, He is like adopted family) Then a trip an hour south to see my grandparents. I told you about some of the time and experiences I shared with my gramps. The other set of grandparents I was never close to. I visit every couple years. Terrible I know. But… well, I was left feeling pretty raw about some things that happened when I was a teenager, and I had a chip on my shoulder about it. As I developed into an adult, It’s not something I was a big enough person to change. It was a two way street, they didn’t make efforts to contact me. So it merely wasn’t a priority. Now I live maybe an hour away, and I feel like an asshole not going to visit. I am a better person. My experiences good and bad made me the person I am today. I wouldn’t change them even if I could. I still have the opportunity to have an adult relationship with my grandparents, and I think I would be a fool to dismiss them. My grandmother is an incredible cook. She made us ribs and rice with beets and salad, Fresh Strawberries, whipped cream and lemon cake from scratch. After dinner we visited, and I went thru some of her recipes. I have some great ideas! Who wants to come for dinner??
My parents have to drive 2 plus hours home, so we left fairly early, I had plans to abandon my half-a-couch and head out on the town, with my one friend. Red solo cup party and bull riding. I wore one of my new dresses, and some cowboy boots. I drank bourbon on ice. 2 shooters and a drink, I was drunk. We wandered around the bar, I had fun, I did realize, my flirting is seriously lacking. Desperately out of practice. We were the last ones to leave, then it was a denny’s trip before home to bed. I didn’t sleep much but I also wasn’t hungover today, I felt pretty good.
After the greasy mozza sticks and the moons over my hammie at 3 am, I knew I had to make up some of those calories today. 2 shakes and a salad.
I went for a 5k brisk walk, it was beautiful. Often I listen to an iPod when I walk, but today at the recommendation of my yoga instructor, for the last 30 min, I shut it off. 30 min of intent walking, while trying to keep my mind clear. Letting go of thoughts as they came into my head, no planning, no lists, just me, with an empty head, Listening to my breath, hearing the swish of my jacket and the padding of my shoes on the path. Smelling the crisp air, letting the pungent smell of junipers penetrate my nose (bahahah…sorry, I said penetrate) The smell of the lake, and the wet dirt. Noticing the birds, and trees, and grass, but not staying on them, thinking about them, just letting go of my every thought, sending them into the air like little pink balloons, floating away with the wind. It is a difficult exercise. I am used to acknowledging people around me, multi tasking, and always actively doing. It’s a marvelous feeling, when you can just let it all go. But extremely difficult. Try it some time, for just 10 min, you will drift into your thoughts, you’ll notice something and start your mind racing. Let all of it go. Just focus on the breath, in and out, in and out. And be patient with yourself, it goes against everything we have been taught. Have drive, purpose, be efficient. No. Let it all clear out. But please stay on a walking path or sidewalk, no one wants to be hit with a car…
I came home after my walk and spent 20 min on my bike trainer, just to warm up. I bought a bright orange windbreaker for walking (I really don’t want to be hit with a car, and most of my outerwear is black). It is marvelous. Wind proof, water repellant, but not terribly breathable. Like being sealed in a ziplock bag, my hoodie was a little more than damp, gross…
I went to “the vow” with my one friend who is also friends with my neighbor, small world. 🙂 Then came home to make a CD and Blog. Tomorrow is a big day, 2 hours drive to Zumba with Cherise (YAY!!!) then a visit in the hospital with gramps.