Me show

I stayed in bed till noon today watching episodes of 30 rock. I have so many things to do. Clothes to go thru and take to consignment, pictures to go thru and organize. Heck I have piles of clean folded laundry that needs to be put away (for weeks now…). I need help. Help getting motivated. I mean, I could have even blogged this morning! Left to my own devices I tend to be apathetic, and spend my time feeling sorry for myself. And I have NO reason to do this.
The date yesterday is the actual reason for this blog… It was a beauty…

Me show
This Gem was a POF. I initiated contact because this guy had one picture of himself, and 18 beautiful glossy food pictures. I messaged him that I liked his “food porn”. A few days later he sent me some info on his online cooking show, and a bunch of other very important things he works on.
We emailed a little, but a couple weeks lag between responses, apparently he just gets way too many  mail messages on his cell phone. LOL! I gave him my cell number and we started texting. Well… He started bestowing upon me a list of facts about himself. I felt like I was cramming for a test. I did not like this guy. I thought possibly he was nervous, trying to dazzle me with all the awesome things. Maybe once he got this out of his system it would be better. He suggested we meet up. I agreed, and being repeatedly informed of his passion for food and cooking, I suggested a trip to the farmers market, Penticton really does have an AMAZING saturday market. He quickly replied, that was a great idea, and then we could COOK! Well… I live in a 450 sq foot suite. I do have quite a lot of kitchen equipment, but not much for space. Plus a first date to my house? Not wild about the idea, and cooking for 2? Also not really awesome. I wasn’t keen. But I had an idea, My neighbor and landlord has a bright, beautiful, freshly renovated kitchen. Maybe with the extra people around it would be better, I texted them, and they agreed, sounded like fun, and good material for my blog. They  had friends and family in town for the weekend, so It would be dinner for 11 people.

Me show was ok with the idea of having a pile of people to cook for, so it was going to be a trip to the farmers market and an early dinner. I bought a roast, cut it into steaks, pounded them out and marinated them in whisky. I figured it was good to have a main protein already planned out.

I woke saturday morning to a phone call from putting the FU in FUN. 7:30 am. He phones me. I like that about him. He had woken up early to watch the sunrise, and wanted to spend the morning drinking coffee, and reading the paper in the sun… with me. Oh he is fun, and so good at this dating thing. I reminded him I was in penticton, he claimed that wasn’t an issue. I had to decline his wonderful invitation because I already had plans, but he offered to come to me, and go to the market here. I always end up smiling when I talk to him. I may see him next week…maybe…

Me show texted when he got to town, and I met him. He was so little… I had went online and watched his cooking show, but him being the only one on camera, I hadn’t noticed how small he was. Maybe as tall as me, almost, but no more than 130lbs soaking wet. He also had a light beard on his shows, and was without it…he looked better with it…

Physical packaging, only a portion of attraction… we went to the market, and he was wearing a t-shit advertising his cooking show, a number of the vendors commented on it, it had a garlic character on the front. There were some fun interactions and he thrived when conversations were about him. 45 min at the market, I was informed of a number of things. Now I have an excellent memory, but was worried at the sheer volume of things I needed to remember in case there was going to be a test.

We made a quick trip to the grocery store, and then headed up to the house. I had to stop at starbucks for reinforcements. We sat on the patio waiting for everyone to get home in the main house. Me show wanted to audition for canada’s next top chef. And I was entertained by his unending chatter. We went into the kitchen and started to work. Unpacking our groceries, and planning the meal, which evolved over the couple hours we spent cooking. I know how to cook. I enjoy cooking, usually. I’m no expert. But I can pull of a variety of dishes. Me show stopped unpacking groceries and earnestly turned to me. “Is there something you would like to learn from me? What can I teach you?” I just looked at him for a second. Smiled as sweetly as I could muster, (the boobs are real, the smile is fake), and pleasantly declined.

I offered to cut vegetables, but he insisted he should do it. I asked if I should shuck the corn, which erupted a 30 min explanation of exactly how he was going to prepare it. At the end, I just blinked and then asked again, so I should shuck the corn? My poor landlord had to go upstairs and laugh. SO My job was to sit across from him and give him my undivided attention. I started drinking. I had a big beer in my fridge. 650ML. Granville ginger beer. When I was done that I made some sangria, and worked on that.

Dinner was… whiskey soaked BBQ steak, fresh corn on the cob tossed in garlic butter and grilled, pancetta squash, also grilled, fresh ciabatta loaf stuffed with spinach and goat cheese, coconut basamatti rice, red coconut curry with red peppers and cilantro, and a from scratch greek salad.

Afterwards S cleaned up and did the dishes, it was 6:30 We fed 11 people for about $100. We visited a bit, and people started heading out to do different things, I guided Me show out to the patio, in hopes that maybe he would realize he had spent 7 hours with me, and I had things to do, (like blog) But alas he was not adept at body language. Finally, an hour later I told him, he needed to go. 9 hours of chatter, I was done. And just drunk enough I had to actively engage my filter.

He did text me when he got home, telling me about his trip home, I guess that was also going to be on the test. Not completely awful, but too long to spend with a first date. Now a couple days ago I had 142 hits on my blog…AMAZING! Thanks to all my readers, I could put a link for his cooking show on here. However, because he did not ask me a single thing about myself (which is OK, I didn’t want to tell him anything anyways…) I did not ask his permission to blog about him, or have a chance to tell him about the blog. LOL! No cross marketing for Me show. I hope I do well on the test…


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2 thoughts on “Me show

  1. Melissa Turner says:

    Thank you for putting your blog link on your FB page – I have been DYING to read it and it was worth every word!

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