oh…we got a grunter…

I am blogging on my yoga workshop lunch, just holding my arms at table height to type on this loaner computer (thank you thank you thank you!) is a challenge.  The gym is a blog rich place…


Last Week Karma & I were in the back room at the gym.  There are a couple days we don’t need any of the machines.  Sometimes it’s busy in there, and we have to wiggle in a spot.  This particular day we were the only two in there.  We do these “Supermario Jumps”  lunge-leg lift, jump.  They have a real name, but I remember them this way.

We are nearly done our set of 6X20 when a guy comes in and starts doing abs.  Earphones in, he’s grunting.  Good he’s working hard, but then he starts coughing, and hocks up what must have been a monster wad of phlegm.  Like a mouth filling oyster.  I’m trying to keep count of the supermario jumps, keep my balance and not vomit in my mouth.  And not look over at K because I will start to laugh…  This guy works up this supernova size snot ball…and then swallows it.  Oh good god.  Just because your headphones are in doesn’t mean no one can hear you!

Just a couple days ago, we were back in the room, all alone, her and I set up in front of the mirrors.  We are on the floor doing weighted lower ab lifts and dudeski comes into the room to do a little bicep work.  He started grunting.  Karma gets out between counts, “oh, we got a grunter”  I start to giggle a little.  I am trying to hold it together, but I can’t look over at dudeski grunting, spiting and making faces at himself in the mirror, I will lose it… not that it matters, because just then he lets out a mid grunt/exhale “fu*K yeahhhh”  It sounds like a porn movie soundtrack, just feet away.  I lose my shit, no more ab rolling I am straight up laying on the floor LAUGHING.  Grunt-eroni (the gym time treat)  can probably hear my laughing thru his pounding electronic music.  Karma points out I’m an asshole, because now she has lost count.  I am tearing up, and failing at trying to pull myself together, still laying on the floor not even giggling, but gasping for air between deep belly laughs.

He did leave shortly after that, but came back with reinforcements.  Him and another guy came back into the room.  Now don’t get me wrong these two muscle bound beauties are dedicated gym goers, and I’m sure very nice people, or something… But it was a situation where you think to look around for a hidden camera, because no way this shit just HAPPENS in real life.

New guy is chatting with dudeski, and starts gearing down.  Stripping off his clothes.  without any music?  I am facing the mirror, trying not to stare at him, or make eye contact with Karma, because I will have to lay down to laugh if this happens.  I looked out the window at the bushes but Karma said he geared down to his underwear and hiked it up so you could see all his bits n pieces thinly veiled by the cotton of his boxer-briefs.  Moose knuckle is what she called it… Then new guy was posing, and flexing while dudeski was taking pictures.  Oh, and checking himself out in the mirror behind us.  I couldn’t look, I would have lost it.  I guess the deal is New guy was sending pictures to his trainer for some competition, I thought it was a little over the top for a POF profile picture…I haven’t had a chance to go look, $10 bucks says I find it on there…

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