An “off the record” date

I didn’t name lucky #13.  Cherise did.  My friend Cherise is truly amazing.  We became friends in our early 20’s.  We had mutual friends, and kept seeing each other out.  Eventually we cut our mutual friends out of the circle.  We liked each other, not more… but better?  She has on countless occasions stopped me from getting on the crazy train and running away.  She is consistently a voice of reason.  I honestly don’t know what I would do without her love and support.  Well… I know I’d have made some irrational moves, bad decisions… and who knows where the crazy train actually goes?  I would if not for her. (thank you C!)

She also has an intuitive streak that runs deep.  She knows things.  We were chatting before the date and the lucky #13 stuck.  He is so sweet.  I am afraid i might chew him up.  Cherise tells me I have to worry about myself, #13 can worry about himself.  I think I will put the 40 dates (23 left)  on pause to give this man a fighting chance.    This is a hard decision.  Karma said at the gym a couple weeks ago, no one wants to see me go on 40 terrible dates.  I think that is mostly true, I know a couple of you would be wildly entertained by that.  And the worse the date, really the better the blog.  I am seriously struggling with this decision.  Part of the reason I was a mess last week.  The dating was getting fun, tragic but fun.  And I like to see things though when I commit.  Even when it’s shitty.   I am worried I won’t have anything to blog about if I’m not dating… but I think it is evident from my gym post saturday, funny shit still happens. Vanessa pointed out the other night, the blog is for me, not my readers.  I’m sure I’ll still find entertaining things to write about…

This off the record date with #13 motivated me to give him a chance…

He picked my up on a saturday afternoon.  Sun was shining and he wanted as much of my time as I would give him.  He drives like a maniac.  But when I said something to him, he toned it down a bit. Kdawg phoned me and warned us there was radar on the highway.  We headed out to Summerland for an afternoon of wine tasting a possible hike up Giants head.  By the time we did the wine tasting and sat and shared a bottle of wine on the patio there was no time for a hike.  We chatted for a couple hours in the sun. He has this bare honest quality.  Answered all my questions, and really became more and more impressive with every answer.  He knew about the 40 dates, and my blog, I told him about my ex and MrNRN.  He expressed his desire to go all in.  Would understand if I had things to do, but wanted me to date him exclusively.  Said he would be happy to take me on 40 dates if that’s what I had to do.

We were getting hungry so we went to the pub beside the store where I work for saturday night Prime Rib.  I like to see how people interact with service staff, can they keep a banter?  Are they polite?  He again was sweet and funny.  He opens doors, and holds my hand.  Keeps telling me I’m beautiful.  Whenever he does this, (often) I feel like I should do something in response, pose or something…

We stopped and picked up a couple things from the grocery store and went back up to my house.  We baked Butter tarts, (I baked butter tarts, we ate them). And had a pyjama party.  I was sporting some fuzzy zebra print that my sister in law had bought me, and he was “rocking” some rock band PJ’s.  We watched movies and chatted and ate butter tarts.  Not once was there awkward silence, just those self imposed awkward moments where I felt I need to pose when he said I was beautiful.  Maybe I will start doing that…

He stayed over, we cuddled and chatted all night. We may or may not have made out a bit too.  The next morning I offered to make breakfast, he accepted but insisted on cooking the bacon.  He made perfect bacon.  Not too crisp, not too soggy.  I was telling my Dad about the bacon, he said “tell me more about this one, I may be in love with him”  Haha!  It was nearly 24 hours of “date”  and not once did I feel like, Ok, time to go, I’ve had enough.  Is it intense and emotional?  No, but that is a good thing for me right now.  He has his own things going on, he just moved and there is a bit of drama with his ex-wife.  Seems like ex wives are a bit of trouble generally.  I wonder if my ex knows how good he has it.  Probably not…

Have I picked out a dress and middle names for our children?  No. Also a good thing, no one likes that crazy girl, and Cherise has her hands full right now so she can’t babysit me.  I still get e-mails with my “matches” from  I got one this morning telling me MrNRN is a 92% match, I knowwwww match….  Well last week I got another 92% match, and I thought, that guy looks familiar… I clicked on the profile, it was #13.  I had seen his profile before, but was so apathetic about the online dating at that time, despite his high “compatibility” I hadn’t messaged him.  The universe is a funny thing unfolding like it does.


So there it is.  Dating is on pause.  #13 really is lucky… But now I need to get rid of these other boys, I can’t keep claiming sick…

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2 thoughts on “An “off the record” date

  1. Linda says:

    I don’t remember the ‘rules’ ever saying that the 40 dates had to be with different guys… I’d read anything you wrote, you are very entertaining and a good writter! I think we’re all happy to read about you on your road to happiness, however you get there!

  2. Vanessa says:

    hahaha Linda just wrote exactly what I was going to write! I ditto that. Dating isn’t on pause…at all. You’re just concentrating your dates on one man. And I would much rather read about that then bad dates…cause I’m looking for hope and inspiration too 🙂

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