I want to know what love is… I want you to show me…

I got into some trouble.  Well, actually I was enlightened to a number of reasons and ways that relationships get better over time.  I merely had given up on my post, not on love.  My parents are a perfect example of how being married 34 years and still being in love is possible.  I have said a few times, the last few years with my ex were the best years.  If you had asked me 3 years ago, I would have said I would NEVER be single again.  Of course that’s not how life played out, but I liked being in a relationship, a long one.  Just gave up on my post.

Right at this moment I’m struggling with trying to remember what romance is, and what is important in a relationship.  Specifically what is important to me.  You know when you take two colors of play dough and mash them together, you can never quite get them apart again?  You end up picking most of the foreign color out and then what’s left gets mushed in and the color is forever changed.  I feel like that’s what has happened with my ex.  He was a dark, blue I think, I of course, was neon pink.  Now my color is just ever so slightly purple.  He will have a pink streak for sure.

I’m finding this with #13.  He was married before and with a woman for 16 years.  He asks husband type questions.  He wanted to know the date of our first date so we could celebrate our “anniversary”.  Sweet, but I don’t give a damn about this.  Even before my ex, I remember my first serious boyfriend  I and argued with a friend about our dating anniversary, how we NEEDED a date, but it wasn’t important to either of us.  Plus when you have a secret romance the starting date is a little blurry.  So this is the first time I have a dating milestone.  We decided that the first time he pinned me down to have a serious conversation about dating was October 1.  The talk was in my car, so I couldn’t run away.   He has also asked me if I have given any thought about the kind of wedding I want.  Ummmmmm…. I managed to evade that question with the playdough metaphor.

So yes, relationships get better with time, and what I think is romantic and sweet doesn’t need to make way for grossness.  It will evolve.  My ex used to pluck the hair from my face mole for me, and was OK with the fact I spit like a hockey player.  I would be more likely the culprit of dutch ovens… poor #13…


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