I’m killing a little time, enjoying a free caramel brule latte. Thank you Starbucks rewards. #13 is taking me on a date, and the date has now evolved into a weekend in Vancouver.
I was thinking this morning as I cleaned my house, My mother is getting all the credit, but I know that these insights into relationships and life came from both my parents, My mom was just the one to deliver the sermons. My dad has worked shift work the last 35 years, so there were times that by the time I got home from school he was already at work, not getting home till after we were in bed.
Lesson #3 was covered a few months ago, the “What does a 25 year old man want from a 15 year old girl, and why can’t he find a girlfriend his own age.” Another valuable lesson that Amanda girl could have used (and any 12-15 year old seeking adult male attention). They say the perpetrator of the initial photo was a man more than 15 years her senior and a repeat predator.
Lesson #4 was delivered when one of my friends got pregnant, and decided to keep the baby. Her daughter is now 18. One of my closer friends in 8th grade had a baby 2 years later at 15 years old. My mom said there was absolutely NO WAY she was going to support and raise a baby. Now if push came to shove I’m sure that my parents would have supported and loved me and my child, but… The fear of my Mother and god, no way was I having sex. My mom ranted that until I was emotionally and or financially able to take care of any subsequent children or felt ready for marriage I had no business having a serious boyfriend, and the things that go along with that. I didn’t feel even close to ready, I did lots of babysitting so I saw first hand how a baby and an ex boyfriend/husband/baby daddy was more drama than I was interested in. And the poverty some of the moms lived in, no food in the house, dirty, and there were a couple instances I had to try to call around to see if they would be coming home so I could go to school, Or school nights that I took a job, and ended up pacing the floor with a colic screaming baby, or a 2 year old with an earache. Not something I wanted to sign up for full time to do alone. (Not all babysitting jobs were like this, but those are the ones that helped drive my moms lesson home).
Lesson #5 is joint with #4. If you aren’t looking for marriage and kids, A steady boyfriend isn’t what a girl needs. In fact, a girl never NEEDS a boyfriend, who she dates is not who she is, or part of her identity. Long term relationships do change who you are and how you look at things, partnerships evolve, but in my formative teen years I was taught to be independent. That I could and would be successful on my own. I think every woman should live alone at one point in her life, just so she knows what it is like, how to fix her own toilet, hang her own pictures, be comfortable in her solitude. I don’t love living alone, but I can and do.