Luck has run out

Now I’m not sure if it’s my luck that has run out or #13’s.  I guess it is a matter of perspective.  He was crazy about me, maybe it was a halo effect.  Maybe I didn’t answer the right questions, maybe I didn’t match his intensity, maybe the timing just wasn’t right.  Maybe I am emotionally unavailable.  Maybe it was him.  OK.  It was him.

He had a difficult conversation with his ex wife, leaving him rattled last monday.  We had tentative plans, but I didn’t hear from him.  He stopped by and had dinner tuesday night, and we had a conversation about his monday.  Wednesday he met my parents for dinner.  They liked him, he fared well with them.  My parents never judge, or meddle.  As long as I’m happy, that’s all that matters to them.  Even when things were obviously wrong with my ex they were nothing but supportive.  Thursday he was busy, but we made plans for friday.  The short version is, he stood me up, waited till the last minute and bailed.  I am especially sensitive about this.  I am the wrong girl to stand up.  I was irritated, and I planned my saturday so that I was not available.  It was a great day, 5k, a blog, some laundry and then wine and a movie with my girl T.  The plan was sunday we would talk, go on a date, work things out.

Today is sunday.  Once again, last min, he has stood me up.  This tells me all I need to know.  I won’t actually post this till after we have a discussion, but I am 70% sure this is done-ski.  I wish him the best.  I hope he finds who and what he’s looking for.

***

We finally texted today, (monday)  and he has to sort out his feelings, and is awfully twisted up.  I can only imagine, I know it took well over a year for me to sort out the mess of emotions I felt with my break up, I am fairly in touch with my emotions, and I have so much amazing support and love, potentially it could have taken MUCH longer.   Currently I am in the middle of a little pity party, I hadn’t used my PMS kleenex quota, so I’m working on that.  I really feel for him, obviously I care for him, but It’s not fair to me to a)wait around, b) be stood up… twice.  I’m really sensitive about that. Maybe we can try again when he sorts himself out, time will tell.

So now back to dating?  I think I need a couple weeks, maybe a couple months…

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