Dodging Bullets

First, I want to say, I am so glad I don’t have an ex wife.  They seem like a lot of trouble.  I am thankful of the very adult and final breakup I had with my ex.  He is blissfully ignorant of how bad the whole situation could have been.  He is a lucky man, I was also unaware of how awful it could have been. I am also pretty lucky.  Yay Us for being adult and stuff.

I do not regret one single second of my time with #13.  I am thankful for the break I got from power dating.  My faith that there are still honest, smart, funny and attractive single men out there was renewed.  I had an opportunity to hold hands, and public displays of affection.  I had “good morning babe” texts and drunk phone calls, I love drunk phone calls.  He is a spectacular spooner and it had been a really long time since I had that emotional cuddle.  You don’t get emotional cuddles when power dating.  I, for the first time in years had a date for my birthday.  I also learned more about what I do and don’t want in a relationship.  And I realized some of my relationship baggage, so hopefully I can unpack that shit.

Given the chance I would absolutely do it again, but I wouldn’t have stalled as much initially.  Having him in my life helped me “dodge” some pretty big “bullets”

I bet without #13 I would have let MrNRN stay under my skin.  Not good for me.  Instead I had an honest and straight forward man tell me I am beautiful, everyday.  Much better than filling my spare hours trying to line up dates.  Or obsessively working out, because that is a pattern for me.

One of the boys I dated was dating another girl as well, at the same time, I actually saw them together one day.  I was ok with this as I was power dating but I wondered if she knew about me.  He assured me he “liked her”  but made no mention of it being serious.  She moved in with him.  About a month after the last time he was at my house.  Moved in with him.  Must have been more serious than he let on.  I don’t ever want to be the other woman. Plus, I couldn’t trust a man like that.  No trust = no relationship.  Dodged that bullet, thank you #13.

While I was in Calgary I had a middle of the night text.  “Hey I’m in the hospital at KGH, I’m on the McNair unit, Please come. Visit me with a latte when you get a chance”  I was knocked out on NyQuil and got the message in the morning.  I looked up the McNair unit, and it is for mental health and substance abuse rehab and recovery.  OK.  So… I replied that I wouldn’t be back till the next week, and would stop in and see him on my way home.  I asked what was wrong, his reply was “some personal stuff he’s getting worked out”.

So I go upstairs and tell my sister in law.  She’s really smart, and compassionate.  My bro hit the wife jackpot, she’s awesome.  Her infinite wisdom, she pointed out that it takes a special kind of friend to visit a person in the looney bin.  Also, if I wasn’t romantically interested, stopping in wasn’t good for his emotional or mental well being and recovery.  Valid points.  When my flight was delayed I had an easy out, I wouldn’t be thru kelowna till after visiting hours, but the real reason was I was giving #13 an exclusive deal.  I text the guy, “I’m delayed in Calgary and I won’t make it to see you tonight”  The response I got was “who is this”  LOL!  Ok, so I just didn’t reply, that was an easy out.  A week later he texted me again “Are you in Kelowna?  I’m at home now and was wondering if you would come visit me?”  I just didn’t reply, bullet dodged.  Again thanks to #13

I am thankful for the time we spent together, like I said, absolutely I’d do it again.


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