Trying to peel off the band aids

Initially I had a problem finding dates, well… it wasn’t a problem because I wasn’t looking for them. But now after 30 dates, I have a list of guys, hopeful potential suitors. I want to let them down gently and with as much kindness and compassion I can conjure. Unfortunately some are not prone to subtleties. I can be an asshole, push buttons and be extremely un appealing. Blatter on about myself, talk incessantly about my ex and other dates, press hard questions and deep subject matter, ignore, but it’s not me. Some of these men have had horrifying experiences with women, and life in general, I don’t feel I need to contribute to them. Suppose that a simple honest “I have found someone that I feel a connection with.” Will do the trick. Now there is nothing concrete with Goldylocks, as he is away at work, for at least a couple months, But still, there’s nothing I don’t like about him, when he sends me a text I sit smiling at my phone like a damn fool. I think he is worth the wait, just to see what might be. I have Deleted my POF profile, and the fling/richmen/meet local singles. I need to fill out some forms to get out of my match membership. I will gently yet firmly inform the lingering texters that I am no longer available at this time… like a seasonal drink at starbucks!
I met GTL for a drink last night. He has been trying to meet me since august, he would be officially #30. I had dinner with Candace and Q and we were being stared down by a guy a table over. Candace pointed out the cute guy staring at us, and when I glanced over I had to laugh, yes dear, he’s staring because we went on a date, he’s probably trying to remember why he recognizes me… he was wayyyy at the beginning, #4? Anyhow… Goldlocks had posted a picture of the truck he’s driving for work, and Q was super excited, we drew big trucks and tankers, (it’s exciting for me too but in a whole different way…) I asked Candace how I should get rid of the other boys. Ignoring seems to be the easiest? I told her about my date with GTL, and I planned on being exceptionally annoying. I am an asshole. When It came down to it, I couldn’t, I felt bad for him.
We met for a drink, he showed up smelling like a combo of mens cologne, febreeze and pot. Glassy blood shot eyes. Reasonably attractive, Hit’s the gym hard, but skips leg day, it turns out he can’t work the lower half. The blood shot really brought out the blue of his eyes… He had a vodka, I had a water. We started chatting, he isn’t back at work, he is awaiting a hip replacement. He asked about dinner, and I told him about the stare-down, somehow the conversation evolved from what I didn’t like about the date with the other guy into a lengthy and saddening story about his estranged Mother. Deep seated betrayal, and if I were to psycho analyze him i’d guess on a simmering hate for women in general. The kind of things he told me about, scar you for a lifetime without extensive therapy. Anyways, because of the pain in his hip, and boredom he smoke a fair bit of pot, they have only given him advil to manage the pain, and the it has given him a sizeable ulcer. Eating and drinking is uncomfortable. After a couple cocktails he wanted to smoke. Asked me if that was ok. I’m no DR. but I hear smoking is bad for you, not my thing, I told him he was free to do what he wanted, I was already thinking about Goldy, his easy conversation, his close family relationships, the smooth sound of his laugh… GTL going to smoke left me some time to dedicate to the daydream.
GTL got back, we chatted for a bit longer, super chachi yes, and he knows it, but sweet, and going thru a rough time. His last girlfriend broke up with him via facebook after he bought her new boobs. He said it was a gift from the heart, when I stopped laughing. I pointed out it was just above the heart. Likely was an anti climactic date for him as he has been “sexting” for months, but he will live, He told me he was awesome and super confident… usually that means the opposite. But he also told me he likes to take care of girls, I’m not in need of care, and certainly not a gold digger. Besides I already have my own set of boobs, grew them myself.

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2 thoughts on “Trying to peel off the band aids

  1. NolaM says:

    Honesty… Just like if the situation was reversed you would respect and admire.
    Your father suggests you read a Fishing regulation booklet.

    In their brochure, “Releasing Fish the Gentle Way”, the Fisheries Branch has four excellent recommendation which I would refer to all anglers.

    [1] Play and release fish as rapidly as possible.
    [2] Keep the fish in the water as much as possible.
    [3] Be quick but gentle when you remove the hook.
    [4] If you must handle the fish, do so with your bare, wet hands.

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