I go on 30 dates, and suddenly I am a romance expert? Ha! Although flattered, but I am muddling thru this shit pile just like everyone else. In the last week I’ve had a half dozen private messages on dating. I’m looking for advice too…
Ok, after a pity party about my gain I had some encouraging texts, (thank you). Karma gave me a pep talk at the gym today. No more weighing. She gave me an app that puts pictures side by side. So weekly you’ll get a picture and measurements. NO MORE SCALE. I’d rather be fit than light, I refuse to feel bad about the hard work I’m putting in. I realize results take time, and I’ve made a multitude of changes to my body chemistry, so I will practice being gentle with myself.
I do have some tips on dating, and specifically online dating. There are also some indicators that someone likes you… I’ll write on the dating this week, but today is how to tell if they like you.
This is tricky. It is dependant on a number of factors, relationship baggage on both sides, the degree in which a person is capable of love and the busyness of their lives.
*Take time out of their 16 hour workday in order to send a girl flowers on valentines day, (*sigh)
*They return texts in a timely matter, or better yet, INITIATE contact
*Take the time to thoughtfully respond to messages, one word or one letter… Not the best signal.
*Are eager to meet, shows that you are important enough to spend time with or on.
*bring you along to meet friends and or family, they may be seeking secondary approval, or just incorporating you into their personal circle, both are good.
*Things come up… However being stood up, or left waiting feels shitty, someone who is into you will make sure to reschedule or rearrange their schedule to make a date happen. (This was the main indicator MrNRN wasn’t into me!)
*There is an equal give and take in the relationship, they come to your house, or do something you enjoy, (this didn’t happen often with my ex, silly me)
*They ask questions, about you, what you think and or feel, they show interest.
*Pick up the phone and DIAL, TALK to you.
*Obviously there would be no emotional, mental or physical violence.
*I do things, make a cd, bake cookies, or something small, a gesture of admiration, not everyone does.
*You are on a date, they are checking their phone, taking calls and or returning texts. Not a good sign. I had to do this once on a date, it was work. I felt like an asshole. It tells your date they are not important. Of course work and or kids, occasionally calls have to be taken.
*Conversations about ex’s. I am guilty of this, #13 asked of I still had feelings for him, he just kept asking my questions that included my ex in the answer… It was a learning point when he brought it to my attention. It does happen that people aren’t over an ex, or are injured still, until you are over that, it’s hard to emotionally give to another person. This is of course a personal opinion!
*Think about how they treat you. If someone was treating your best friend in exactly the same manner, would it be ok? If the answer is no, or even a hesitant maybe, ask yourself why you don’t feel like you deserve the “cream”
*Sometimes you can see it in the way they look at you, or the way you feel when you look at them, sometimes that’s just an innate desire to procreate, be careful with this one.
*They make and keep plans with you, they want to spend their day off with you, go on vacation, live together etc… In good time of course.
*They tell you. Verbally, they say the words. Again be aware, they tell you but do not do any of the above, it may be a lie.
*They take time or make an effort to be presentable for dates, another one I’ve been guilty of, un brushed hair and a dirty shirt doesn’t say “wow! I think you are great!” Not that every date and every person should preen, but clean and presentable, good indicator.
*they smile a lot, tip their head to the side, lean or cross their legs towards you, find excuses or reasons to physically touch you.
I’m sure there are more, but it is so dependant on every individual. I suggest you set a standard, make a list even, and don’t settle for less, because spectacular is out there!