Awaiting my trophy

C asked me the other night…. “Do you know who the best Aunty is in the whole world? … YOU!” Man, this kid kills me, I never spend enough time, it’s always too long between visits, and although my life is pretty great, and getting better… it feels shattered leaving him behind. It is going to be rough on him when I have a boyfriend and can’t give him my undivided attention. It was easy with my ex, he never came with me! I’m sure I can find a man who understands and even enriches my nephew time. C has a hard time when I spend any time with baby G, or even mom and dad! He wants it to be just us, we can share…. But no one else…
My ex never wanted kids. For a long time I thought that was ok. I have my nephews, and friends kids that are family, a god daughter who is adorable, so there are lots of kids around. Now… I’m not so sure. I love kids. I feel like I am running out of time. I am flopping back and forth between it being ok without them, sharing other people’s kids, fostering, adopting, there are so many kids out there that need good homes, I don’t feel I need to push them out of my vagina to love and care for them. Or have them surgically extracted and experience being stapled shut. C-sections are wonderous!
I think I can live without morning sickness, constipation, mood swings, I already cry often, and it’s bad for my lash extensions! Stretch marks and a whole gamete of other totally worth it symptoms of child bearing. With an extensive family history of excessive miscarriage, even if I find someone wonderful, how long? A year together? Then try to get pregnant? That could take a while, plus gestation, I’m looking at 35 at the earliest. Wow. Where does the time go?
I’m still flopping back and forth on this, and once again crying in the airport. I have complete confidence that the universe will unfold exactly as it should, and in the meantime am fortunate enough to have earned the title of the worlds greatest Aunt. I would like a t-shirt I think. Something that won’t show the stains from paints, markers, dirt, food… And more! 🙂
Let us re cap some of the fringe benefits of being the wolds greatest Aunt…
There’s still a little novelty to getting up at 4 am to slow dance and snuggle with a teething 18 month old,(and about the only quality time we get unless the 5 year old is at school.)
Kids movies, and popcorn, and M&M’s!
Singing silly songs and dancing till everyone is sweaty and dizzy.
Racing, and playgrounds, I went for a little interval walk/run/piggy back to school, there is far more play involved walking with kids, sliding on the ice, stomping in mud and in puddles, picking up rocks, noticing animals, even piles of dog shit are more exciting… Going to a playground requires children, unless it’s in the middle of the night, and you are drunk. Or super Creepy… And then we are friends off.
When you go on outings children are instructed to be on their best behaviour. Your child “mini Houdini” holds aunties hand and uses manners! (Not always…)
OUTINGS! I love love love activities, and am always looking for someone to go and do! Zoo, gardens, science centres, museums, pools, tourist attractions, beaches, fairs, carnivals, rides, I AM IN!
The worlds greatest Aunt must be both stubborn and patient, never make a promise you can’t make good on, or a threat you wouldn’t follow thru with. Kids remember EVERYTHING, and in life for every action there is a reaction, establish trust and an acceptable level of behaviour.
The worlds greatest aunty hasn’t has to endure 400 straight days of mind numbing incessant Whys? So she can (although uncomfortably) field some questions.
Daddy doesn’t yell at aunty for tearing off all the couch cushions and using every blanket in the house to make a fort. And she knows how to use the washer to clean and fold them afterwards.
Because aunty hasn’t had to do 18 loads of laundry everyday for the last 5 years she has a little more patience playing parachute with sheets or re folding a basket that has been dumped to be used as a pretend car.
Same goes for floor sweeping, dinner making, dishwasher unloading. Because its not a looming task every day, she can skillfully make child labour fun for everyone. (Sneaky Bitch)
Even though Aunty is a germaphobe in real life she will endure the sharing and hand feeding, maybe with a little cringe… As disguised as possible of course. She’s also pretty skilled at pretend eating and drinking.
Aunty is already a spilly mess so a little extra jam in her hair… No big deal.
Peek a boo master, as well as being flexible and strong enough to be a jungle gym.
Aunty likes to play, assemble toys and will endure hours of play dough, reading stories and children’s television
Aunty is a good listener, she remembers details and isn’t usually distracted by everyday life stuff, you have her attention. And she picks out kid dialect.
Aunty hasn’t had to say 47000 times, “stop pushing your brother” or “stop kicking the seat”
Kid food is the greatest, McDonald’s, fruit loops, cupcakes, chocolate milk, and Aunty is good at sharing.
Aunty is ok with cursing, may even teach you a few choice phrases.
Although she does worry about you being bullied at school, your emotional and physical well being, it’s not as forefront in her mind as a parent. I imagine raising kids in today’s world is a scary thing!
She doesn’t have to worry about paying for clothes and shoes and food for you everyday… Kids are expensive!
Really it looks like there are a lot of perks! Just the shattered breaking hole she feels in her heart when she gives you back to your parents…

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One thought on “Awaiting my trophy

  1. NolaM says:

    You know… I think I may have been your Aunt instead of your mother.
    Be sure teaching those boys how to spit like Hockey players is on your list…
    I had wayyy too much fun with you two to be a parent.
    There was a good reason you did your own laundry before kindergarten.
    Probably why you still think working is playing…

    As soon as you feed a kid and give them a hug on a bad day… you are a Mom.
    How many of the kids you babysat for, co-workers, friends, employers and employees qualify?
    You are right, the universe does have a way of filling needs as required.
    In a most wonderful and unexpected way. It’s like playing with Corn starch putty.
    Try to force it and it stops, ease off and it flows.

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