F-U horomones…

I have answers. I have gotten back my hormone panel, and I can’t say that I am surprised, there is a good feeling in knowing the chemical make up of your body is the reason you have felt achy, tired and gained middle weight. Well, its like a dark chocolate vindication, bitter sweet…
Now the hard part will be making lifestyle changes. Stress is the biggest issue. I am so lucky that I have a boss who has repeatedly now said I don’t need to kill myself, work all day and night, or forego a life at the sake of employment. Unfortunately, I have this crazy need to be the best, the brightest, but at this rate I am headed for a breakdown, emotionally and physically.
Two months of calorie deficiency including 30+ min of cardio every day, weight training and no sugar, and still gaining, was because my cortisol hormones are working overtime. Prolonged stress, work, breakup, move, work, life, has cause adrenal failure. In addition I have really low progesterone. Symptoms include: fatigue, swelling (my knee), hair loss, unexplained weight gain, especially around the middle (yep), depression, tearfulness, inhibited thyroid function among other things. It makes sense now, last time I went off the pill I made my GP check my thyroid and blood sugar, I thought I was diabetic. Something was wrong, and when I went back on the pill (which has progesterone) I was better, lost 20 lbs, had more energy etc. I was needlessly hard on myself, and knew there was something wrong. This means, listen to your body, be mindful of how you feel! Along with my results they sent 3 pages of interpretation. Usually low progesterone is caused by poor diet and lack of exercise, well… how bad would it be if I didn’t eat well and exercise? I suspect that there are genetics at play here, my Mom, has suffered from low progesterone, multiple miscarriages included, inhibited thyroid function, sleeplessness among others. And my maternal grandmother I learned this morning after a tearful conversation with my mom, tried for 10 years to have kids before she was successful, and then subsequently had a progesterone shot. Well look at that… family history. I am so thankful for the frank honest information sharing my ma is famous for.
So why was this all bitter sweet? And Tearful? Because I am a high stress person, and I’m in the middle of an over reaction. Hahaha. Truly, and rationally I know It’s silly. Low progesterone and high stress are treatable, with some hard work, but that’s not what I’m freaked out about.
From what I have read, it looks like I could get pregnant, but it is highly unlikely I could, or would carry a baby past the first trimester. I have been convincing myself for over a decade that I didn’t want to have kid, at least not alone, and that I would have a shared agreement with my nephews, and nieces. I would steal… well borrow, I would return them, not much for felony kidnapping, other peoples kids, or foster, or adopt. When someone tells you, you can’t, even if you didn’t want to… it’s hard. I made an appointment to see my naturopath next friday, hopefully she can help, and ease my overreaction. The extra stress is really bad for me…





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