my goodness….yes…. oh yes…

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Oh sweet sweet dairy… this is my first latte in a week. short, skinny and sugarless. I didn't even go decaf! It is spectacular… regular latte with cinnamon sprinkled on top.
Ok, weighed this morning, and although feeling a little more svelte in the middle, I was skeptical about loss. 2 lbs was what I was hoping for… 186. I lost 6lbs last week. Wednesday to wednesday. Measurements, down an inch in the waist, half an inch on the hip. everything else was the same. 7 days of clean eating. No dairy, no sugar, limited wheat, I did eat 3 slices of bread in the morning over the week, I had to use it up… oh and greek yogurt the first 2 days, also to use it up. This latte is my second cheat, I had strawberries on day 5. I am tired of chewing, and I seem to be a bit of a pit. I no sooner finish eating my meal, and I could eat again. This is good, means I'm burning fat, and my metabolism is working. Also means the last 4 days I will incorporate a little more fruit. The naturopath said the B-12, because I was so low, likely won't feel for a another week or two of shots, and daily sublinguals. Same with the progesterone, I am sleeping more soundly, but I doubt I'll see the effects until I've made it thru a whole cycle. I have adapted to take my cortrex in the afternoon, about an hour before I head to the gym, and then I don't feel anxious.
Has the last 8 days been fun? Nope. Hard as hell, I wanted a drink a couple days ago, and my milk craving has been silly out of control. It's time consuming to prep 7 meals per day, and the chewing… I actually contemplated, and this will be disgusting… throwing the peppercorn pork tenderloin in my bullet along with some carrot juice in order to just pound it back without having to masticate it. Barf… I miss oatmeal in the morning, and fruit… but I can start bringing small portions back in. I could eat oatmeal…its just hard to cook such a small amount, and I refuse to eat instant oatmeal unless I am in dire need. Weighing your food, makes you feel a little psycho,,, but after a while you get a good feel for portion size. I haven't had an upset stomach, gas, or felt bloated in 4 or 5 days. I strongly suggest to anyone having issues, get a book on clean eating and give it a try.
Physically I'm feeling stronger, and leaner. Like my machine has been tuned up.

Emotionally, been a bit of a wreck. Over thinking, rethinking, fretting and spinning. Maybe because I have more energy… I should spend it on something awesome. I'm making self discoveries though, and working thru my crap. Pulling everything out of my "closet" and throwing out the junk that isn't mine. I'm working on reading a stress and relaxation work book that my dad gave me years ago, I just have been too stressed to put aside the time to read it… Irony!! Maybe all these tears are the hormones…? Hahahaha! Eventually I'll be unable to use that excuse. Vanessa… you have been my rock. I love love love your self awareness, and your kindness. The patience you have had listening to me circle issues and being supportive, administering tough love, and calling me on my bullshit too… I am grateful everyday for your love. Heaps of other texts, from many other loved ones, I am a lucky lucky girl. You are sunshine. Karma, immeasurably supportive with meal ideas, support to keep me focused and on track, and there is no crying at the gym… you are more emotionally supportive than you take credit for!
"Friends can help each other. A true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself-and especially to feel. Or, not to feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at the moment is fine with them. That's what real love amounts to-letting a person be what he really is.
-Jim Morrison

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3 thoughts on “my goodness….yes…. oh yes…

  1. Shannon Holmes says:

    Get on you girl! Keep going you are doing great!

  2. Vanessa says:

    Oooo my heart just melted. I love you. And too many times you have been my rock. Remember that time I showed up in Penticton and I was like “I just cried then entire way here, and I have no idea why”. We often think strength is keeping a hard exterior, but in reality, our walls are useless without a strong foundation. And sometimes everything in our life needs to be shaken up so we can rebuild from the ground level. Keep on keeping on!! You’re amazing and an inspiration to more than you know.

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