I just finished 8 hours at work, I even got there before 9 am. Victory! Went home to grab my gym stuff, packed the bag, and then came down to starbucks to blog. I did NOT actually bring my gym bag with me… I have been fighting a less than awesome head cold all week, and a vicious kink in my neck. I spent 4 hours napping on my couch yesterday morning, and then berated myself for “wasting” the day. Having to write down the negative self talk, has been effective, but I’m still really hard on myself. I struggle constantly with putting myself first. I have been researching things I can do to incorporate more joy. Everything takes time, and I struggle staying motivated. I beat myself up for everything, staying in bed, not reading, missing Goldy, not working out, not eating enough, not cleaning my house. An endless list really. And then I feel bad about feeling bad, So many people have it much worse than I. I had coffee with one of my 30 dates yesterday, and he told me about his battle with cancer. Not something we talked about on a date, but now we are friends… I just have a little grief and depression, it’s not cancer! Or a week in the hospital with a severely broken leg… That would be far worse. I have to stop being an asshole to myself, cut myself a break.