Doctors orders

My Therapist on monday (crazy that was this week… feels like it was a LONG week) said that I light up when I talk about writing, blogging. She recommended I do more of it. The massage therapist said I should typically, with a blocked throat chakra, look to speak my truth. My naturopath is the best. She is truly very lovely. I had an appointment yesterday. I am proud to say my swollen tonsils (always huge and red taking up the back of my throat) are now just swollen instead of enormous. She confirmed my suspicion that this emotional work and clearing out my thyroid/chakra was causing the sore throat, kinked neck, head cold awesomeness. I asked her how one “speaks their truth” exactly? What the heck does it mean? She said I was a good communicator, but that my grief was very deep. Cellular level grief, hereditary or past life grief. She asked if I was spiritual, humans have a basic need to have some spirituality, it’s funny not too long ago I was talking to my Ma about that topic. I cried, but I think she expects that. Encourages it even, to help let out this emotional curb I am high centred on. She said I should journal, or blog more. Wrote it on my prescription pad. She was concerned that I may need a private or password protected outlet so I didn’t feel the need to filter the writing in any shape or form. I might actually write, in a note book, with a pen. Old school style. I love good pens flowing liquid across crisp lined paper. Even though your risk of paper cuts and exploded pens increases exponentially. She suggested I write in a word doc and then transfer if I want to post, I could also write and then not publish. I have some options.
My skippy heart is still not as strong as a few months ago, but the rhythm was a consistent beat and thump, no skips or stalls. This is really good news. I have been taking 200mg of progesterone for 14 days of my cycle, This month as soon as I started them I got my period. This means my body is producing more, and I can cut down to 100mg for 14 days, maybe even stop them all together in the near future! I can finish the B12 and stop taking it, I am down to one multi vitamin, one adrenal stimulator, 2 biothy, 1/2 tsp of homeopathic chavita 5, ingnatief 2 little pellets, 1000mg of vitamin C, and some liquid iron. It sounds like lots, but it’s much less than the pile of pills I was taking. I feel like my body is more my own. The spare tire around my middle has melted away, my thighs feel more toned, they don’t rub quite as much as they did a few weeks ago. My arms are more toned. I should step on a scale and take measurements, maybe post some pictures. My energy is better, I don’t want to have a nap after work, I can stay up till 11. She says the mornings are hard because I am trying to go back to sleep. I should aim for 9 or 10 hours and if I wake up at 6 am to pee, I should go to bed earlier. Wake times are set by the body, and to get more sleep bed times are easier adjusted.
Last night I couldn’t sleep for the life of me, tossing and turning, watching a movie, shutting it off, with no luck, I wasn’t swimming in negative thoughts or doing stress circles. I think (as much as it makes me sound like a crazy hippie) there is something wrong with the energy at my house. There is something “off” Not sure what, precisely, maybe that I have been depressed the time I have lived there? That I feel crowded because it is a little on the small side? That there has been some big changes next door in the main house? I just don’t want to go there, yes it’s bight, and quiet, and affordable. Nice to have your own space, but I feel so isolated. Eating mini wheats by myself on my half a couch isn’t awesome. It used to be people around, dogs, kids, family. I was texting with Brooke, she is kind enough to check up on me, and she agreed that the energy of our environment was just as important to our physical, emotional, and mental health as the food we eat and the exercise we get. Comforting. I am not a crazy hippie. Also there has been a few times I have woken up in the middle of the night with the feeling that there is someone in my apartment. Creeeeppppyyy… This morning I awoke to the shrill screaming of my fire alarm. I donned a robe and stumbled into the kitchen, I was running on around 2 hours sleep. At this point the house better BE on fire, I went out to the back yard and looked at the house, no smoke in the main house. The fire alarm stopped, I went back in, looked at the electrical panel, in the garage, out to the front of the house. Nothing. I went back to bed. It went off again, I got up and looked in the main house. Nothing, it would go off every 15 min or so until 7 am when I un hooked the malfunctioning smoke alarm and put it in the garage. Slept for 2 hours, or tried to, I was angry. Stupid smoke alarm, angry at my space. I think It’s time for a change.
I have a few options, There are suites around, but I am leaning towards a roommate. I just looked at this great loft space one building over and upstairs from my favourite starbucks, then I could just perch on my deck to watch the people and shenanigans going on downtown. I would likely need a roommate or a second job as it’s a fairly expensive space. I met another girl a couple blocks from the beach, her boyfriend had just moved out and we have gone on a couple girl-dates. It is a intimate thing living with someone, and the wrong situation can be awful. I have been really lucky so far, so I have to be mindful to stay that way. I was nervous, what if she didn’t like me? It was very much like a first date, telling each other about ourselves, getting a feel for if we could make it work. Remember I have lived alone or with my ex for the last 7 years. Fortunately I have developed interview skills, hiring staff and on 30 dates. She seems fun, is seeing other people, of course trying to find the right one, just like dating! Hahaha! I am also looking at other places and exploring other options. Trying my best to be single and fabulous. I just need to get rid of this lump in my throat, and start packing…


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