I am working OT to get some orders done to take a week of vacation. This is the first time in years I have taken time off in the summer. Waitressing, and working on a patio, then working in a beer store, summertime is busy busy. Luckily I have lots of amazing staff this year, and the most amazing boss. And… I am willing to work 12 hours on a sunday to get everything done. It’s nice I can do the orders here at starbucks, there is a warm breeze, it’s a nice night to be out here. There isn’t a lot of people downtown on a sunday night, but a few… I lean back to stretch between vendors, my neck is still a little tender from my massage. There are a couple cute boys on the corner of the patio, so I might as well get a little eye candy while stretching, I’m never one to turn down some good multi tasking! So here I am trying not to be creepy, scope out the eye candy, and stretch my neck, it might be a classic case of good from afar, but far from good, I think they are talking about anime… I shouldn’t be judging or eavesdropping! And the point of this story is I was looking out into traffic, when I see a familiar profile sitting in the car stopped at the light, then I notice the car, and the trailer with jet ski’s. Well what do you know… MrNRN. And he is wearing a stupid hat. Straw fedora, hmnnnn… Some guys can pull it off. Some can not. I had an immediate physiological response. I was angry. I felt a lump form in my throat. Something about that man makes me want to verbally assault him. For months if I ran into him, at the gym, the vitamin store, safeway, I would simply turn on my heel and go the other way. Pretend like I didn’t even know him. I was better than the crazy girl, more mature, he wasn’t worth it, even taking the blame, I LET him treat me poorly. Funny that I don’t feel anger towards my ex, or #13, not even a little bit towards Goldylocks, but MrNRN, I want to bitch slap. He gets under my skin, like a tick. Maybe this is a truth I need to speak, a letter I need to write, and likely not publish, It would be woven with expletives and graphic instructions of where he should go and how to get there. Why does he make me so angry? Maybe like a tick I need to rip his head off, and burn him out. I feel foolish, and disgusted that he does get under my skin, he isn’t worth it, He shouldn’t have the power to make me feel crazy, make me feel anything. Adding to my homework, a little pest control.
Under my skin.