I think someone put alcohol in my drink!

This is a true recount, to the best of my memory, of the last 40 hours… Names have been changed to protect the innocent…
I awoke to the new ducksauce song, it’s upbeat and I like to wake to music instead of the shrill repetitive siren. I opened one eye and reached for my cell phone, shutting off the alarm and logging into the beer store online ordering page. I needed to secure inventory of a limited release Budweiser 8 cans. 6 am. I must really love my customers, or something. I reset the alarm for a more reasonable 7:30 and try to go back to sleep. I feel terrible. I ache all over, I think at first because of the gym, but realize it’s also in my throat, ears, and my lymph nodes are swollen in my armpits and neck, feels like a marble under my skin. I also have dry mouth as my nose has been plugged and I have been a mouth breather through the night.
I want to call in sick for work, I want to spend my day in bed, I have a full blown head cold. But I know, there are big orders coming in, and I need to be there. I also have decided to take my stat day from last week friday so I only need to get thru 8 hours. I shower, and haul it to work. I did indeed have a long 9 hour day, and I still didn’t get everything done. I left to head over to a friends house where she is making dinner and my cousin is going to do our hair. Dinner and a do. I am late, because of working late, and just want to lay down and go to sleep. I feel like ass.
We have a lovely dinner, I have sweet new blonde streaks, in addition to the already sun lightened overall tone, this is the blondest I have been in a decade. We finish up a little after 9 and I am tempted to ditch plans to go out for an ice pack, a fan and my bed, (yes threesome! well foursome if you count me).
I laid on my bed with the icepack, My friend Hal is in town for a concert, she texts me when she gets back to the hotel to meet her for a drink. She thinks I am going to flake out of our plans, I surprise everyone including myself by putting on some black eyeliner and pants. I love Hal, I’ll go meet her for a drink, and then sneak out, in bed shortly after midnight…
Well we meet up and she pours us a drink, heavy vodka, easy on the mix and a handful of vodka soaked gummi bears. We start our walk to the bar where her friends are, and by the time I make it thru my drink, I am feeling it. Tipsy, it was a heavy pour. We hang out with her friends, and the boys buy us a drink, and another, and I get some water, then more drinks. We are dancing and laughing, I am intoxicated and forget about my headcold. The people watching is fantastic and there is some dorky dancing. That’s my style of dancing-dorky. At one point I remember helping one of the boys put his shirt back on, I know it doesn’t really sound like me, reclothing a man?? I think I may have prompted him to take it off, and he got into trouble? Maybe he was just feeling confined by his shirt, I don’t recall. We laughed and drank and danced until the music stopped and the lights came on. We walked outside and Hals boyfriend flagged me a cab, I poured myself into it, and proudly remembered my new address for the cabbie. Including my cab ride home I spent $20. I had not been that drunk in months…
Hopefully I was quiet coming in, carrying my heels and staggering up to my room. I filled a glass of water and precariously toted it up the stairs. I peeled myself out of my clothing leaving a trail to my bed. I drank my glass of water and laid on the bed. Someone was spinning the house, so I am laying on my bed, naked, smiling to myself, one foot on the floor. I grabbed my phone and one eye texted Hal, my face hurt from laughing. What a good time. I made it to brush my teeth, and then back to one foot on the floor, bed stance, ready to attempt sleep.
I passed out, lets be honest here, and awoke a little before 7am. Where did I park? Would I have to move my car before 8? Would it be a slow trudging walk? How the heck did I end up so drunk??? Hahaha! I roll over, and down an old water bottle. I may throw up. My hamstrings are screaming at me. Likely residual from the dorky dancing in high heels. I know the drunk texting/facebook was at a minimum, I was that drunk. I feel like those bears attacked me, damn gummi-bears. Vicious buggers. Did I flirt with that boy with his shirt off? I should have, I think he had a 6pack. I had fun. I saw my boss at the bar last night… good thing I didn’t call in sick! I can hear BRE (best roommate ever) downstairs getting ready for work, maybe I can score a ride to my car! I still have the sweaty smeared makeup on from the night before and I feel it really brings out the red in my eyes, and compliments the dirty sweat pants and T-shirt I have donned for this car retrieval excursion.
I burst into the kitchen and suddenly feel like I may throw up. I pour some water and sit on the floor. She asks where my car is and I explain that I accidentally got drunk. Oopsie… She drops me off at ground zero. I feel okay, mostly and I safely make it home. 6 hours since my last drink, but there is a chance I may still be intoxicated? If you have left the house but still find yourself in bed shortly after 8 am is it considered a nap? Or going back to bed? I wonder how Hal feels. Vanessa and Cherise text me my good morning texts, and I admit to the shennanigans from the night before. I fall asleep until noon. I had things to do, unpacking, organizing, some unfinished work stuff. Stuff that will need to be done another day
I did a little cleaning, a little work shopping and then came back to the house with some A&W chicken strips, I could have been satiated just licking the salt off of them. At this point it’s around 3 and I am hitting the wall. I am hungover despite the pineapple, banana and 2000mg vitamin C & B’s. Functionally hungover at least. I shower, finally washing my eye make up off, and get dressed, I have a girl date with Miss E and Miss B.
I am tired, I want to lay down, and my head cold is not being very forgiving demanding equal the attention my hangover is screaming for. I stop at Starbucks for some coffee and meet the girls. I pound back 3 waters and an iced tea, and feel better, but having all that liquid I have to pee, at this point in the washroom at the restaurant I realize, I am wearing my pants, backwards. Awesome. Good thing they are leggings, but I didn’t notice they felt funny?
I survived my accidental drunk, had such a good time, it was worth it. Just hope it doesn’t open the door for this head cold to kick my ass.


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