I am very aware of my age. I am nearly 34, and I embrace every year. I am who I am today because of the years of experiences. I think I look my age, early 30’s. I feel my age, I need to get enough sleep, and sunscreen and water. I can’t drink like a maniac or stay up all night. I have no regrets, I did more than my share, I have partied, danced in cages, stayed out late, been reckless, made a few bad decisions, skinny dipped, stolen road signs, come out of bars in the daylight, drove all night, mastered impromptu road trips, and crazy shenanigans.
For some reason, I attract the attention of bold young men. I get whistled at while running by a man in a car with a new driver sign on the back. I have men (boys) approach me in bars, want to buy me a drink. Men who are clearly too young for me. Is it the dim lights? The beer goggles? I have a hard time taking the compliment. I say things like “I could have been your babysitter” or,”I think I am friends with your mom…” or something similarly emasculating. Often I just smile and sneak away. I don’t want to feel like a pedophile. What would I have in common with a 25 year old man? Or even younger…?
But it continually happens, maybe young men are more bold? They have all those extra hormones coursing thru their veins they don’t have the same sense and reason of older men. Maybe they haven’t yet been knocked down and bruised by bad relationships. Maybe they are thinking with the toddler they keep in their pants and have a mother/teacher/babysitter fantasy. Maybe I don’t look my age?
After having a dismal week dating, I put on a pair of jeans, a tank top, and some black eye makeup. Cherise suggested I go out and flirt, and that was exactaly was I was going to do!! I got half way to my front door, and turned around to change, The tank top was just plain too much boob. There is my age showing thru… too much boob?? It’s like saying that skirt is TOOOOO short!! I went over to my GF place where we left my car. We walked to the first bar, and I flirted hard. I used to be good at this? Made eye contact and smiled. Kept an open posture leaning against the railing. Wildly entertained by the throngs of people walking past. A couple boys came over to chat, introducing themselves, we would chat a bit and move along. One bold man was going to come to the other bar with us, I hadn’t yet gotten his name, but I gave him my phone number. He was a local, sometimes a rare find in a tourist town, he was also tall and cute, really, what did I have to lose?
We left the first bar, walking just a couple blocks to the next bar. On the way my GF stopped to talk to a group of young guys, obviously in a wedding party. I just barely looked up, Guy #1 had already started texting. My GF knew one of the groups older sister, and he was supposed to stay at her house while he was in town. She was giving him a hard time and he looked at me and said “If your hot friend is going to be there, I will be too” or something to that effect, I was being rude texting guy #1. I looked at him, he was cute. 6″2, dark blonde curls, perfect teeth and icy blue eyes. But YOUNG. I smiled and said “awe…” and then walked away. I make good decisions… usually…
Inside bar #2 boy #1 was texting me to leave, go for a walk and talk. I am smarter than that… We did a couple laps, the people watching was fantastic. We came across the group of groomsmen, and guy #2 introduced me to his friends as his future ex girlfriend. I was still being rude and texting guy #1. I laughed and my GF suggested we keep walking, I took a couple steps and this bold man grabbed me by the waist and suggested we dance, okay… he took my waist and led me to the floor. He was REALLY into me… I liked that about him… we danced a couple songs and then some country came on. I don’t know how to two step. I can salsa, jive, polka, but no 2 stepping. I can’t even fake it. I said, I am no good at this… he said no, you aren’t, just relax and let me lead. Really? I was impressed.
I had to work early in the morning, and he suggested we leave, to talk, somewhere romantic. Oh my goodness…leave yes… he could walk me to my car and I would drive him back to his friends. He is holding my hand and looking at me like a passage out of a harlequin romance novel. I say to him, “You have no idea how old I am… How old are you?? God, I hope you are at least 25…” His reply, was “yeah, I’m 25.” “Well… I am almost 34, so you are still too young… I am flattered, but you are still too young…” He asked for my number, and I gave it to him, he was interesting, and feeding my ego, good or bad. My GF texted me a while later, I hadn’t said good bye, she asked If I had left with Boy #2, and my reply was seriously? He is 12… her reply was no… he’s 21. What?? I gave my number to a 21 year old??? Oh my goodness… I was horrified. Gave my number to him, annd let him put his tongue in my mouth. Well it turns out he is actually 22… not much better…
He texted me the next day, and we got together for Burger King, He is smart, and sweet, and surprisingly we had more than I thought we would to talk about. He did come clean admitting that he lied about his age. He is one heck of a catch for a girl a more appropriate age. But is that ageisim? Would I feel like a man 12 years my senior is too old? I think it would depend on the man… the other way… I don’t know… I think it’s too much. I don’t want to steal his youth. I asked him, “there weren’t any girls your own age you could have made out with?” His reply was “none as sexy as you.” Oh good grief…
I took him back to his truck, he could text me if he wanted girl advice… but that’s about it… his sister would KILL me… LOL. I actually could have been his baby sitter. He turns to me and says “Legit Babe, you don’t look a day over 25.” Legit? Babe? Okay now I see… Note to self… ask for ID.

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One thought on “Coocoo-ka-chew

  1. Heatheroo says:

    OMG!!! Loved your story Holley! I have the exact same problem.. well not so much the actual getting involved in conversation with them much more than I HI from the guy, and cold icey ball shrinking stare from me, but young guys?? YES!!! I SO hate that! Whats up with that??? When u figure out how to make age appropriate guys hit on us! Oh also… I need a girls night out with you… soon! LOL!

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