Dealing with rejection.

I went on a date. It was a man that I had picked out. He had checked a yes or maybe on the meet me section, So I knew he was at least moderately interested. I saw his profile before I signed up, and on paper he looked great. Really great. Tall dark and handsome, athletic, does triathlons, and cross country biking. YESSSSSSSS…
I favourited him and sent him a short message, it took a few days but he got back to me to meet for a casual coffee. We spent an hour chatting, he seemed great, I had to lead the conversation a bit, but I usually do. I liked him, he was smart, and funny and we had a good time. His phone was going off the last bit of the date, but he left it in his pocket. Told me he had to leave by a certain time, but stayed a little later…
All good signs, but there was no move to ask for my number or the possibility of another outing. I got the feeling he was looking for friends, and am okay with that…But also felt like he was just not that into me. Maybe I have been spoiled with immediate text messages, and phone calls after dates? Even if they are thanks but no thanks texts… It’s possible I still don’t 100% believe in my sheer awesomeness.
I feel a little rejected, coupled with Goldy telling me he is seeing someone new, I am all round rejected. This doesn’t even make sense as I am dating again, and seeing new people… I guess it’s the finality of it all. The end of my delusional fantasy that he would make it back to me… Or perhaps once again I am rushing thru life making assumptions and doing a poor job of living in the now. And being compassionate and loving to myself. As a result of the emotional angst, I woke up yesterday SICK. Swollen tonsils, sore throat and a roaring fever of 103. I slept for 16 solid hours last night, and after some encouraging texts, feel much better. Still have a Dr appt tomorrow, but my fever has broken. This of course is an assumption, I stayed out late one night, and could have just caught a bug, but I strongly believe emotional health has a direct correlation to physical well being.

I choose awesome, everything will unfold exactly as it should…

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