The King of Richter

My friend K is pretty great. I was reading a blog called “Bad with men”- Danna Norris who may be my new hero. She blogged about the 71 internet dates she went on. One of her blogs she mentions a guy friend, who has this great girlfriend, and always makes her feel better about herself. I have one of those, A guy who when I tell him I am not as hot as I used to be… he looks at me and says “What’s wrong with the mirrors at your house? You have fun-house mirrors? There are regular ones here, go look at yourself.” That is my friend K.
Our parents were friends when we were kids, acquaintances I guess. I remember once my mom telling me they going over to the house, and did I want to come? I was 12? Somewhere around that, and I asked her, “is K going to be there??” likely it induced an eye roll from my mother, and some remark that I should stay away from that boy. I did, stay away from him, he was a bit of a trouble maker, or hung out with some trouble makers. In my teens I would see him around, but my mom said to stay away from him. And I did. I always had a crush on him tho. Tall, dark, blue eyes, mechanically inclined. Smart, and funny.
In our 20’s we kept running into each other, out and around town. I drove him home one night, and he puked all the way home, it was a long trip pulling over every 20 min. He found a flower in his vomiting and picked it for me… so sweet. As usual I was obtuse, driving a boy home from the bar, with no idea he might want to make out with me. And I mean how can a girl say no after the intimate experience of seeing someone puke their guts out for 75 min? Hahah… I helped him into his house, and put him to bed, and then left, taking advantage of drunk guys is like making out with really young guys….oh… shit…
I didn’t see K after that night, I started seeing my ex shortly after, and K started seeing someone too. The first time my ex and I broke up, I was out with Cherise and some girls for a drink. We were at a pub downtown. I was sad, tender, and had forgotten how to flirt, sound familiar? One of the girls said “that guy over there keeps looking at you” I look back, it’s K. there with some guys, but just on his way out. I go over to say hi, and we chat for a bit, he is living in town again, went to trade school, recently single, I’m in town too, still bartending, recently single too (sigh). Can he have my number? Of course!
We start text messaging, it was the new thing, he calls me here and there, we hang out. I’m still holding onto my ex, and not looking for a new relationship, but K becomes my substitute boyfriend. Night out with the girls? K meets us out. Rented a movie, K comes over to watch it with me. Feeling low? K makes me tea and hands me tissues. My birthday, K not only comes with the girls bowling, but then pays the bill. I think he’s being extra sweet and kind and supportive, but realize now, he probably wanted to make out with me.
By this point I have been working on things with my ex, he’s asked me to comeback, but I hate my job and decide to put my life on pause, throw my junk in storage, head to calgary, move in with my brother. K tells me not to go. I can move in with him, if I cook dinner and clean the house I can live rent free. I feel like I would be taking advantage of his kindness, really I have a problem letting anyone take care of me. We talk about dating, generally not about us specifically, I am still working on things with my ex, and K is online dating. I am a girlfriend kind of girl. He wants nothing serious. He is a red sock, I’m a black one. We just don’t match.
He comes to my going away party (my ex does not, not sure he was invited) and once again tells me to not go. I came home to visit every couple of months, and we would usually meet, tea or breakfast, if we had a “girls night” K would be there. He met a girl, and was dating exclusively her.
I decide to move back, I have a great job offer, and my Ex has promised a whole new world, different this time…
I go for breakfast with Cherise, and K. We chat, how’s the new GF? What’s new and exciting?How’s Calgary? I tell him I’m coming home. He lights right up… Where am I going to live!?? I cringe a little, I know he won’t be thrilled. I’m moving back in with my ex. I swear to you just by the look on his face I could tell he wanted to reach across the table and slap me. Or shake me. why why why why?……
Once I was home, we still hung out here and there, girls nights weren’t complete without K, and we went and did stuff my ex had no interest in. My ex probably should have been jealous of K. I met K’s girlfriend. I didn’t want to like her, despite being in a relationship with someone else, I felt possessive of him. Kind of messed up actually. I had a relationship husband type and a boyfriend. Although it was entirely activity based, and we didn’t make out, was I emotionally cheating? Isn’t that worse? I meet her one morning for breakfast, and she was LOVELY. Sweet, funny, bubbly, reminds me of my friend Lib. Dammit… I wanted to hate her. I couldn’t. K and I didn’t spend much time together for a couple years, it was apparent to me, he wasnt a fan of my ex, and makes sense as he had been there countless times I had been disappointed, and was heartbroken or crying.
When My ex and I did break up and he moved out. I texted K 4 simple words. “You told me so.”
He called me and made it clear that he was sorry, not that I was single, but that I was going thru this all… again. We hung out a little more often, but I felt I needed to prove to his girlfriend I liked her, and was not trying to steal him. I am so fortunate that she was cool, not everyone would be with your boyfriend taking another girl to dinner, or have her come over and bake cookies, and watch a movie while you are out of town. She is amazing.
When K asked his girlfriend to marry him… I already knew, he had divulged his plan, and shown me the ring. I was so excited for them, and aching to hear about how it went. She said yes… I adore her, and he has loved and supported me in a way I would never have imagined possible.
He listens and gives me his honest and manly opinion of things. He makes me feel better about myself, “fuck those guys that don’t call, they are probably homosexual.” Advice about goldylocks, and most other dates lately. The guy who made me feel dumb, K said I should have stood up and said “you can’t put your penis in my college degree” and stormed out (you tube “show me your genitals”). When I told him I was maybe too intense, and should just date, casually, and sleep with a lot of dudes. You know so they could chip away at my intensity, losing a little with each one…He replied “I don’t think so. So you want to die a little each time? That sounds awful and sad.” HAHAHA… yes… it does. I don’t know what I would do without him…


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