HI! OMG! have you missed me? It’s been months, 4 months. So insane how time has flown. I wish I could say I have sooooooo many amazing stories to tell you. But sadly, that would be a lie. Why have I neglected you? Well, I started a second blog, have you seen it? It’s worth a glance, some great recipes and a couple stories, but not nearly as salacious as this one. It’s also not all about me. Lame. hahah. www.theprimaldesire.com
The second blog has been time consuming as we try to get it up and running and making some money, I hope.
Then I took on a second store. It’ll be no problem I thought, I already have a store, “it won’t be much extra work” I said. “It will make the store less busy” I said. I was wrong, a good problem to have but I did way more volume and put in way more hours. So there you have it, I worked like a maniac from may until september. 3 full-time-ish jobs. I am ready for a break down. A recent visit to my naturopath and she requested, no demanded I take some time for myself. Here I am. Writing for you, that is my “me” time.
With so much on my work plate, I haven’t been on many dates thru the summer. I texted and tindered some, but didn’t do anything remarkable.
Met a guy from Tinder (who reminded me of Vanessa’s ex), who told me women ruined tinder by turning it into a dating site, it was for hook ups. haha. Yeah. And…No.
I boy from POF contacted me after the fail of his relationship. Oh, great, back up plan. My dreams come true.
I went on a date with a banker from tinder, and we talked business. At least he told me I was pretty. Not sure why they seem surprised by this, i have recent pictures up.
I saw a guy on tinder in may that was interesting, not my usual type, tall athletic, great teeth, yes, but BLONDE! I know, crazy right??! We chatted for a couple months on tinder and I gave him my phone number. But I never heard from him. I didn’t even notice. Terrible. I was at the bar people watching with R; and this dude, make a line for our table. He starts chatting, and I recognize him. THIS is the guy from tinder who I gave my number to MONTHS ago. Is it? He is telling us about himself and the details match up. It’s him. He doesn’t recognize me? He doesn’t seem to. We flirt, we dance, I leave early. I knew I could message him online so I was being a bit of a jerk. Say goodbye without a phone number exchange, a high 5, half hug and I was out the door. I messaged him on the walk home at R’s urging. “he’s CUTE!” and hello abs for days, which I found during the half hug. But.. he is maybe dumb? I mean to not recognize me? To be fair not everyone remembers details like I do, so I message him. Did he know I was this girl from the bar tonight? He said “you looked familiar” but no, he did not realize I was one in the same. I said “well you have my number, maybe we should make out”. I am smooth. He texted me! Hurray… or something, the King told me “fuck that guy, THAT guy is dumb”. Maybe, but that guy is the first decent prospect I have had in months. And I want to touch his abs. With my face.
We text a bit, but I am out of town, so we find a day to meet up. He messages me to see if we can meet a little later and I blow him off, (not literally) Probably not going to work for me, I’m only giving this guy a small window of opportunity, regardless of his rippling 8 pack. He manages to make it work on my terms and we watch a movie. He has a 19 inch tube TV. Old school, nice! we watch “Un-hung hero” on Net flicks. A “cock-u-mentry” about a guy with a small penis. Well, we have a winning first date movie. He was sweet, rubbed my feet, we chatted a bit. He isn’t dumb, just a little obtuse maybe. The more we chat the more I feel like I should hook him up with my Ex. They have a lot in common. A true bro-mance could blossom between these two. It made me comfortable too, because then we had a lot to chat about. Not really dating material, but neither am I, (for reasons I’ll get into on another post). But I like him. I like him enough to see him again maybe.
Then I don’t hear from him for a few days. I wasn’t sure if I even liked him less than a week ago, why the heck would I feel shitty if he didn’t call? Maybe because I am spoiled by instant gratification, by boys who call, and text, and like me, dammit. Maybe because although I am working on it, I seek external reassurance that I’m pretty or smart, or sweet or whatever I need to feel about myself. That external assurance is fleeting and fickle, but the honest truth is I still seek it. I have not yet attained self love perfection. Yet.
I break down and message him. I’m cooking for the website and need a taster. Did he want to come have dinner? I got a resounding, yes. Enticing a man with food really works! We have a lovely dinner, drinking sangria on the patio on one of the last warm summer nights. He is easy to talk to, again he seems initially a lot like my ex, good or bad I haven’t yet decided. We watch another movie, “Bad words” (funny, highly recommended) and it’s a decent date. Now for the downside. At the end of september his work contract is up, and he is going back to Vancouver. He will become Geographically Un-Desirable, (GUD). Well shit. Maybe I will see him a couple times in the next month. We text a bit here and there, but nothing amazing, he volunteers as a taster whenever I need one, and we plan for a dinner date the following week. Maybe I can convince him to eat shirtless. I mean I should get SOMETHING out of the deal… maybe we will make out! I don’t even know yet. A few hours before dinner he messages me, he was called out for a fire (forestry firefighter). Booo. Cock blocked by a forest fire. Fine. Whatever. We made plans for later in the week the next week, and then he was deployed north for another forest fire. 2 weeks. Which pretty much takes us to the end of the month. And to his GUD status. Cock blocked twice. By burning trees. Perfect. But hey, everything happens for a reason… right?
I am going to hold onto: getting hit on at the bar, and having a few interesting conversations, 2 great foot rubs, and 2 movies watched. Overall a positive experience. Now to find some time in my schedule to go on a few dates…