Ruined, I’ve been ruined…

Alright, it may be a little drastic.  I haven’t been “ruined” necessarily.  I’ll explain.

Since the valentines day break ups, I hadn’t heard from the 23 year old.  Radio silence for 2 whole weeks.  Until a 7 am dick pick made it’s grand entrance to my screen along with a very sweet “wish you were here”.  Hahaha.  Oh man, I asked a couple questions and looks like he is using me to direct his attentions,  while his on and off girlfriend is off.  That’s not a good feeling, being a back up plan.  I deserve to be treated infinitely better than that.  I broke up with him again.  Apparently I’m not good at this break up stuff.  My friend Raj had bet me $10 I would hear from him again, I really didn’t think I would.  So now not only did I have to break up all over again, I owe $20.  Boo.

I have been on a couple dates with a viticulturist (grape grower for wine).  We have gone for tea, and to the pool for a hot tub/steam a couple times.  I really like him, he is genuine, and smart, and funny.  The problem, he is super busy, and I’m under the impression with every meet we are rapidly pushing each other into the “friend zone.”  There is little sexual attraction at this point.  But I have made a wonderful new friend!!  Darn it.  I mean, yay!

I met a guy for dinner and drinks last week.  He has an accent, and we had chatted on the phone a couple times.  I will call him no-name.  Because I actually have no idea what his name is.  His accent; colonial British.  A dear sweet Indian man with a faint British accent but with the classic Indian rolling R’S.  He is an absolute delight to listen to, and I could have just sat eyes closed and listened to him read the menu to me.  But the date it’s self, just okay.  So smart, but so very serious.  And there were a half a dozen times in the hour and a half we spent where he checked his cell phone.  This drives me a little crazy.  He is also seeming un willing to come to me, or meet me half way.  Ugh.  It became uncomfortable after he finished his beer, he was obviously enamoured by my “physicality”.  That is the most tactful way I can think of to say; I’m 90% sure he was thinking of me later that night while masterbating.  Maybe 95%.  And although flattered, I didn’t reciprocate those feelings.

So why do I think I’ve been ruined?  We  I haven’t had a decent spark flying, pulse quickening, exciting, date in over a year.  Caramel latte may have ruined me.  Or spoiled me for subsequent dates, and that was never serious.  Sometimes I think I am destined for the single girl life.  But during my body talk session this week, she says that there is romance, in and all around me.  Maybe I’m missing it, maybe it’s coming, but we agree penis pictures are not “romance”.  So I’m trying to stay open and available to the romance coming my way.


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