After a long hiatus.

Well, it has been a while. It’s crazy how things just stay on the internet forever. And how as much as my life changes it stays the same.

I’m not sure where to start, should I tell you where I have been? What I have been doing? Or should I thrust us all into the details of my date last night?

First… I need a coffee. And a keyboard. I’m not the best with passwords and my iPad is the only device that I could figure out how to log in. And of course the keyboard isn’t paired or charged, since my iPad is reserved exclusively for watching shows in the tub or in bed. No one needs a keyboard to watch “This is us” (keep a box of tissues close). But typing on the screen keyboard has zero flow.

Okay! Now we are cooking with fire! Well, not actually. Again thank goodness for the internet, I fixed it. I do have another keyboard, but it is packed, because I’m moving next week. Yeah, 2 years I have been in this apartment. There have been some great things about it, and like all places, some not so great things. I recycled a date from long ago, (back when I blogged) and my landlord cut the lock off of his bike. Yes, my landlord cock blocked me. It makes sense really, I think he has a fulllllll blown crush on Caramel Latte. Once he stopped me in the lobby to tell be what a big, muscular, good looking man he is. I was all like “I know”.

Caramel Latte is still my favourite. I know most of you liked him the best, and he is my best friend with a penis. I love him, but we are not a couple. My mom doesn’t understand, but in my mothers true fashion she embraces the adventure of my alternative lifestyle.

Okay, lets get into the details of my Tinder date. Tinder, I would be apathetic at best remembering to check my matches and messages. When Caramel latte is around I spend most of my free time hanging with him, plus I have 3 jobs. Who has time for dating? But Caramel Latte is in Vancouver until the end of the month, so I’ve had a little more time to man shop.

I matched with this guy in June. June the first I opened the conversation with a thoughtful and revealing “Hi!”. I know, profound, I’m sorta a word smith spewing poetry with my every breath. Obviously he was captivated by my charm and we chatted a bit. The regular “how are you?” “What do you do?” Type conversation, he works in town for a few weeks and then heads back to Vancouver where he lives. Any time we chatted it didn’t work out, I was in Vancouver while he was here and vice versa. I sent him my phone number but he still messaged me thru Tinder. He wasn’t big on plans, and if I don’t make plans and I’m home with my bra off… Well, we all know I’m not going anywhere.

He sent me hearts and flower emoticons, and sexy GIF’s. He suddenly became persistent about meeting. Or maybe I was just checking Tinder more often than bi-weekly. Anyways, I called him out, it seemed like he was looking for sexy time, which is fine, I’m not against casual sex (sorry Mom). But we had to meet without expectation and publicly before I would consider anything else. He agreed that was a good idea, and sent me a GIF of Jimmy Fallon, this one. That was what sold me on meeting. Yes, a Jimmy Fallon GIF prompted me to go on a date with this guy. Don’t judge me, I love Jimmy.

I texted Cherise, and sent a selfie in case I went missing she would have a current photo. I texted Karma, and told both ladies a few details, a name and a place. Both replied with a “stay safe” I brought along some dog spray just in case. It is a 6 minute walk from my house to the Casino and it was a beautiful night. There were lots of people around, a hockey game had just let out, and I was “packing.”(pepper spray)

I picked the Casino because it has security cameras, they watch everything. It is interesting that cognitively I considered that when picking a place. It makes a real statement about assault and the choices you make as a woman to stay safe, but that is a topic for another day. Maybe over at The Primal Desire.

He was late. NOT a good start. I ordered a salad, so I stayed to eat, but otherwise I would have left. He was apologetic, but seemed apprehensive. He slid into the booth beside me instead of across from me. I was relieved because it was loud in there, and I am loosing my hearing. From the first hello, I noticed his accent.

I asked right away, he had lived in Canada for 10 years, moving from Portugal. That was the accent. Okay, great that paired with the loud room a good portion of the conversation at the beginning was me guessing what he might be saying. Smiling and nodding. He wasn’t terribly tall, but I don’t care about that, he had long dark hair tied up, a beard, and kind eyes framed with smile lines. He was an appropriate age, and when I moved in closer and could hear him, he was smart and interesting. But still awkward. I was the first girl he had met from Tinder. Well that makes sense! That must be why he was guarded!

Wrong. As we were finishing our drinks and my salad, He confessed he had a girlfriend home in Vancouver. They had been together a “long time” (year and a half, so not really) and that he didn’t think “she was the one”. Well no shit buddy. I’m all for open relationships, and clear communication, but this was not that. He was awkward and apprehensive because he was looking to cheat on his girlfriend while he worked out of town. Great. I make it a policy of mine not to bang married men. And to steer clear of men with girlfriends, I mean, there are so many men out there, I am happy to share but have no interest in being a dirty secret. Or knowingly harming another human being on the basis on a whim.

I smiled and tried to put a little distance between us. Side by side cuddled in the booth, it was time for a venue change, we left the restaurant and strolled the much quieter casino floor. I shifted the conversation to things he could do while in town. Maybe check out the cultural society? There is a great (I’ve heard) Portuguese group around. There are some different events going on around town. His girlfriend was talking about coming up for the weekend, I suggested they check out The Nest and Nectar brunch buffet. They were open till midnight at The Nest and Nectar, we made our way over there for coffee and so he knew where it was. I love it there, Randy and Fern are lovely and all of the staff are amazing. If you find yourself in penticton, you have to go here. And let me know, I’ll meet you there! We chatted a little more and with the stress of revealing the girlfriend he relaxed a bit.

Relaxed and shifted towards what WE were going to do after coffee. Would I come back to his hotel? Um… let me think… no. He asked if his girlfriend didn’t come to town did I want to go for brunch Sunday? I said I’d love to go if she did come to town, and he said “Oh she would kill me”. Yeah.

I went home, and texted my peeps that I was home safe. I told Cherise, Karma and Caramel latte my date had a girlfriend. I got back a “WTF” from Caramel, and CHerise asked if I channeled my inner Nola (my mom) and gave him what for. I didn’t. He isn’t my problem.

My mom suggested I should ask for his girlfriends number because I might like her better, and she could use some support when she finds out her boyfriend doesn’t think she is “the one”. That Mom of mine. So compassionate.

I have another date on the 19th after my move, I’m excited about that one!

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