Well, there is still something about me that prompts men to send me unsolicited penis photos. I haven’t been on Tinder much, but had a week where I had a photo sent to me every day. 7 penises in 7 days. 7 different penises. Peni? What would be the plural of penis? Penis is a funny word, but I’m getting side tracked here.
I had to laugh, I forwarded them to K obviously and we discussed things such as : lighting, pubic hair grooming, angles and the such. It was funny, and sad all at the same time. I sent her a photo during the work day, and nearly assaulted her co-workers eyes with a week day work hour penis popping up on her phone. We have since limited the “Dick of the day” photos to after 5 pm and on weekends. Makes sense really. They aren’t limited to outside business hours for me, but I can extend the courtesy to her.
I matched with someone out of the blue this week and we exchanged numbers, he wanted my snap chat. First photo he sends me… you guessed it… erect penis clutched tightly in his hand.
So I saved it to my camera roll.
People can see when you save a photo to your camera roll and I wanted him to sweat a little.
I asked first if that was a real time erection or if he kept it on his phone to “spring on people”. He claimed it was right now. A wednesday at 2 pm and he has his hard dick in hand. Cool. Sounds like a good life to have.
So then he asks if I like it? I must have because I saved it. I reply with a “Sure.” But I’m certain he can’t hear the sarcasm in my voice with that.
So then I tell him that since he sent it to me without asking I was going to show a couple other people. I didn’t think he would mind since he just sent it out to me without permission.
He asked if we would be making fun of it. Ummmmm… Yep. Sure would be. I told him I would dress it up and send it back to him. But then I had some questions. Like, has sending your erect penis to women without permission ever worked for him? Has anyone swooned and said “I’ll be RIGHT over!!”?
Ah, and so why did he think that it might work for him this time? He said “I thought we had a special connection.” Righhht. Sure thing buddy. (We have been texting for 7 minutes and never met in person).
So I made his junk look like he was strangling a smiling teddy bear and sent it back to him.
And he deleted me from SNAPCHAT!!!! Hahaha. So I unmatched him from Tinder. I think I have found a solution to the willy nilly willy photos.